The Fluids Will Find Their God: Backyard Gain-of-Function and the Next Untraceable Pandemic

Executive Summary

God Is a Basement Tinkerer Now

There will not be a mushroom cloud.
There will not be a satellite snapshot of a high-security lab in Xi’an.
There will not be a manifesto, nor a flag, nor a funding trail to Tehran.
There will be a freezer full of bodily fluids, a Craigslist incubator, and a man in a barn with too much time and not enough meaning.

This is not science fiction. It is strategically plausible, tactically invisible, and already within reach.

We are entering an era of backyard gain-of-function experimentation — not driven by national labs or rogue states, but by disaffected individuals operating with low-grade equipment, high pathogen exposure, and absolutely no oversight. This is DIY bioterrorism without ideology, just entropy, ego, and a syringe.

COVID-19 rewired the geopolitical risk map, but it also trained an entire generation of amateurs on viral behavior, mutation pressure, incubation timelines, and the mechanics of transmission. It broke the taboo. Now the question isn’t whether someone would create something dangerous in a controlled lab — it’s who’s already doing it in the dark, out back, for fun.

You don’t need a CRISPR license. You don’t need a PhD.
You need:

• a livestock supply chain,
• some biofluids you don’t ask questions about,
• and enough unresolved rage to infect pigs in staggered waves just to see what happens.

Public health systems do not monitor intent.
They monitor symptoms. By the time the symptoms show up — in the meatpacker, in the kitchen staff, in the ICU — it’s too late.

This brief outlines:

• the threat architecture of amateur virology and feral pathogen experimentation,
• the vulnerabilities in livestock-based passage vectors,
• the failure of existing biosecurity frameworks to detect subclinical sabotage,
• and the terrifying truth that nobody is watching the pig guy.

The next pandemic may not start in a lab.
It may not even start with ambition.
It may start with a broken man and a needle.

And we’ll call it a surprise — but it won’t be.

II. Threat Model Overview

The Lab Is Gone — But the Petri Dish Remains

If you picture a lab, you’re already too late.

The threat no longer lives behind retina scanners or cleanroom suits. It lives in garages, in rusting sheds, in the back room of vape shops where the fridge hums like a bad idea that’s already self-replicating. There’s no white coat, no budget, no institution. There’s just curiosity, access, and entropy.

The new threat vector is a biohobbyist with nothing left to lose.
And he doesn’t need much.

Let’s be clear: we are no longer worried about state-level bioweapons. We are worried about accidental low-tech pandemic vectors created by rogue individuals in unregulated environments, passaging fluids through animals that were supposed to become bacon. Backyard gain-of-function isn’t theoretical — it’s a natural outcome of mass disillusionment, surplus biology kits, and zero institutional trust.

Here’s how it breaks:

• Pathogens are everywhere. Feces, blood, pus, semen, mucus, saliva, sputum. Most of them require nothing but warmth, time, and a host.
• Livestock are bioreactors. Especially pigs — which can host avian, human, and swine viruses simultaneously, and shuffle genetic segments like a coked-up Vegas dealer.
• Injection is easy. A $4 needle, a steady hand, and no conscience.
• Detection is hard. Most food systems don’t test for anything beyond visible illness. Subclinical viral load? Nobody’s looking. Nobody wants to look.

We are watching a spontaneous, distributed bioweaponization of the supply chain through nothing but behavior and access. No coordination. No ideology. Just one guy doing it over and over.

The threat isn’t the synthetic virus.
The threat is the evolutionary pressure applied by idiots.

Give enough pigs enough different viruses in enough time windows before slaughter, and nature will handle the research and development for you.

This is not about CRISPR anymore. It’s about passaging — the same technique used to train viruses to jump species or improve infectivity, now done accidentally and repeatedly by people who just want to see what happens when you inject pus from a foot infection into a hog three days before slaughter.

Public health has no protocol for this.
Food safety has no protocol for this.
Intelligence services aren’t tasked to model unsupervised disease entropy at rural slaughter scale — but they should be.

The next engineered pandemic won’t be engineered.
It’ll be evolved, in the back of a pig trailer, on the way to a regional processor.
And it’ll be indistinguishable from bad luck until it’s far too late.

III. Evolutionary Pressure as Weapon

Entropy Is the Weapon, the Vector Is the Pig

Viruses don’t care about your intentions.
They don’t need a motive, a state sponsor, or an ideology.
They need a host, a window, and a little evolutionary pressure.

That’s what makes the modern pig farm the most underappreciated weapons platform in the biosphere.

Forget guided missiles.
Forget drone swarms.
Give a pathogen enough pigs, enough time, and enough injectable fluids and it will evolve on its own into something leaner, meaner, and harder to detect than anything DARPA could budget.

The Pig as a Weapon Platform

Let’s state it plainly:
Pigs are virological remix engines.

They can be:

• Infected by avian, swine, and human influenza
• Infected by coronaviruses
• Hosts to dozens of bacterial pathogens
• Vulnerable to experimental injections, unregulated treatment, or just outright abuse

They’re also:

• Social
• Packed tight in high-density feedlots
• Shipped in bulk across regional and national lines
• Slaughtered on schedules, meaning infection windows can be manipulated by timing

This means pigs aren’t just vectors.
They’re live-batch passaging systems — able to:

• Host infections
• Encourage mutation under immune stress
• Serve as real-time evolutionary testing arenas
  …before becoming sausage.

If you want to run a rolling pig farm virus experiment without telling anyone, you don’t need a lab. You just need plausible deniability and a needle.

Mutation as a Process, Not a Goal

Here’s what backyard gain-of-function actually looks like:

1. You inject Pig A with fluid collected from an open human wound.
2. You inject Pig B five days before slaughter with a nasal swab from a coughing elderly man.
3. You inject Pig C with a post-coital sample from an STI clinic dumpster.
4. Repeat. Over weeks. Over months.

You don’t have to understand mutation mechanics.
The pathogens will do the work — recombining, evolving, being selected for:

• Faster replication
• Immune system evasion
• Lower visibility to slaughterhouse screening
• Longer incubation
• Higher tissue load at time of processing

You’re not directing anything.
You’re just turning on the entropy engine and feeding it blood.

And Then It Happens

At some point, one of two things emerges:

1. A novel recombinant strain that’s infectious but stealthy
2. A known pathogen with altered markers and extended shedding, undetectable by conventional protocols

It spreads:

• From pig to meatpacker
• From knife to worker
• From meat surface to home cook
• From undercooked cutlet to a diabetic grandfather who hasn’t left the house in months

And it doesn’t even need to kill.
It just needs to stick, move, and dodge for two infection cycles.

That’s how you seed a zoonotic spillover event without meaning to.

And if you meant to?

Then the odds get better every batch.

The Bottom Line:

The weapons-grade virology of the 2020s won’t come from an Iranian lab or a North Korean vault.
It’ll come from a misused pig, injected with whatever was on hand, on a farm outside Winnipeg or Biloxi or Wuhan or Bordeaux or wherever the regulations are vague and the loneliness is louder than the pigs themselves.

You won’t see the mutation.
You’ll just see the ICU beds fill up.
And by then, it’s not a pig virus anymore.
It’s just ours.

IV. Field Scenarios

The Psychopath, the Farm, the Chain

Let’s dispense with euphemisms.

Let’s imagine a man. A real man. Not a shadowy state actor or a mad scientist with a grudge — just a low-empathy, high-inertia, chain-smoking shitbag with access to pigs and time. Too much of it.

Let’s call him Derek.

Derek’s Setup

Derek doesn’t have a lab. He has:

• A barn with leaking insulation
• A fridge full of “specimens” he won’t name
• Access to injection equipment, because livestock farming is dirty and routine
• A Craigslist burner account
• And zero supervision

He’s got connections to:

• A local ER tech who sells him medical waste
• A guy who “used to do stuff for the army” and gives him freeze-dried fluid bags from foreign donors
• And a Telegram group that shares pig injection “protocols” written in slang and dotted with racial slurs

This is not biohacking.
This is biohazard-as-hobby.

And Derek, in his way, is running a field trial of backyard gain-of-function experiments. He doesn’t know the term. Doesn’t need to.

He just wants to see what happens when:

• You inject saliva from a tuberculosis patient into a sow seven days before slaughter
• You inject semen mixed with blood from a Hep C-positive john into a prize boar
• You inject fluid from a monkey pox lesion into the neck of a piglet
• And wait

He’s running trials.
He’s watching for reactions.
He’s taking grainy videos of lesions and annotating them in a spiral notebook with a cracked Bic.

He is the algorithm now.

What Happens Down the Chain?

These pigs — modified, sickened, or merely immunologically stressed — are:

• Shipped to regional processors
• Slaughtered on schedule (no one’s testing for deep-tissue load)
• Blended into mixed meat batches
• Packed and distributed to supply chains that stretch from gas station sausages to institutional food prep

Nobody checks the meat for Derek’s experiment.
It passes visual inspection.
Maybe it makes someone lightly ill. Maybe not.

But one day, it sticks:

• A worker at the plant has a cut on his hand.
• A pregnant butcher’s immune system is down.
• A school kitchen undercooks a batch of bulk pork for 400 kids.
• A sick, diabetic man in a trailer park microwaves infected meat and takes a breath too close to the plastic as he peels it open.

And now it’s in humans.

Spillover Doesn’t Need Symmetry

The new virus doesn’t kill. Not at first. That’s why it works.

It:

• Replicates slow
• Hides in lung tissue
• Is non-reactive to current flu tests
• Has a two-week incubation window
• Sheds asymptomatically through the gut, skin, breath

By the time public health flags it, it’s spread through:

• School kitchens
• Homeless shelters
• A string of dialysis clinics that shared a supplier

And no one traces it back to Derek — because Derek doesn’t exist in the system.
He exists between it.

Alternate Scenarios:

These are real-world plausible, not hypotheticals.

Case A: Slaughterhouse Zero

• Pig injected 48 hours before slaughter
• Virus concentration highest in blood, not tissue
• Workers infected via aerosolized fluid during processing
• Virus spreads through shared equipment, lunchroom, transportation buses
• Outbreak blamed on seasonal flu for 6–8 weeks before tests catch novel RNA markers

Case B: The Export Batch

• Pork shipped to another country
• Contaminated meat used in undercooked sausage product
• School outbreak in nation with no Derek, no pig, and no clue
• First international case detected in ER of a G7 nation 4,000 miles away

Case C: The Dry Run

• Derek doesn’t succeed in the first 30 tries
• But each failure is a lesson for the virus, not him
• One pig survives long enough to infect others via direct contact before slaughter
• Derek now has pig-to-pig transmission
• The pathogen now has independent momentum

TL;DR: The Threat Is Not High-Tech

It’s:

• Dirty
• Stupid
• Lonely
• And staggeringly effective

The next low-tech pandemic threat won’t be a bioengineered masterpiece.
It’ll be a barnyard remix of fluids and trauma, incubated in sadness and pork, passed forward by cold storage, plastic gloves, and just-in-time logistics.

And we’ll call it emergent.

But it’ll be Derek.
It’ll always be Derek.

V. Strategic Blind Spots

No One Is Watching the Quiet Ones

There is no agency with a mandate to monitor people like Derek.

There are organizations that track:

• National-level biothreats
• State-run gain-of-function research
• Highly regulated pathogens in controlled labs
• Cross-border biological weapons programs
• Select agents, tracked vials, known enemies

But there is no box on any form for:

“Do you have a freezer full of pus and regret?”

There is no protocol for unsupervised pathogen evolution in domestic agriculture.
There is no category in biosecurity legislation for amateur virology risks, because everyone still thinks that virology requires credentials.

Blind Spot #1: Public Health Assumes Symptoms, Not Behavior

Public health frameworks are built around:

• Outbreak detection
• Case monitoring
• Epidemiological tracing

But Derek doesn’t create outbreaks.
Not right away.
He creates single-point, slow-spread evolution events that:

• Begin subclinically
• Move horizontally in low-visibility populations
• Shed before they’re recognized
• And adapt before they’re sampled

He’s not creating a “patient zero.”
He’s building a thousand patient minus-ones.

And because the system only activates after a visible threat emerges, we will never see the first round of Derek’s work. Not unless someone gets curious before they get sick.

Blind Spot #2: Food Safety Isn’t Designed for Intentional Sabotage

The industrial meat system is built on three assumptions:

1. Efficiency is safety
2. Visual inspection is sufficient
3. Producers are compliant actors

But when a human being intentionally compromises pigs before slaughter:

• There are no molecular diagnostics applied
• There is no tissue sequencing
• There are no off-ramps in the logistics chain

If the animal isn’t frothing or limping, it ships.
And even if it is — it might ship anyway.
(Ask the USDA whistleblowers.)

There is no system of flags for “deliberate biological manipulation of a pig before slaughter.”
Because no one wrote that into the protocol.

Why?
Because no one wanted to.

Blind Spot #3: Intelligence Agencies Are Looking Too Far Upstream

The IC watches:

• State-level labs
• Unusual gene synthesis orders
• Suspicious viral genome editing
• CRISPR-related publications
• AI-assisted protein design
• Known hostile actors

They’re not watching:

• The YouTube “biohacker” with 2,900 views and a goat skull in his shed
• The failed nurse in Manitoba now working pigs and buying wet swabs off Facebook
• The regional slaughterhouse vet who ran weird tests on a pig and got told to “shut the fuck up and process it”

These people are ghosts.
And ghosts are hard to surveil.
Especially when they don’t even know they’re a threat yet.

Blind Spot #4: Media and Academia Still Treat This Like Fringe

Coverage of DIY biohacking is still:

• “Wacky science fair weirdos”
• “Fluorescent beer”
• “Will your cat glow in the dark?”

Meanwhile, the tools get cheaper, the forums get darker, the biology gets more accessible — and the people doing it are less interested in glowing yeast and more interested in:

“What happens if I inject myself with live virus and pig blood after taking mushrooms?”

That is not an exaggeration.
That is a direct quote from a user post on a Telegram channel that is still public as of this writing.

And no one is tracking them.
Because no one wants to be the person who suggests they should.

TL;DR:

There is no institutional map for biological chaos emerging from within the domestic sphere.
There is no funding line for “idiots evolving viruses on purpose.”
There is no federal priority called “Don’t Let Derek Touch the Pigs.”

And so:
No one is watching the quiet ones.
And they’re not quiet because they’re disciplined.
They’re quiet because they don’t even know what they’re doing matters — yet.

And by the time someone realizes it does?

They’ll already have passed it on.

VI. OSINT + Black Market Signals

Syringes, Freezers, and Dead Forums

We are not without signals.
We are just without will.

The indicators are already there, scattered across expired subreddits, Telegram chat dumps, and the back pages of livestock supply catalogs. But because none of it looks like statecraft, none of it gets flagged until bodies enter the chain.

And even then, they have to stack. Quiet deaths don’t trigger models.

This section isn’t speculative. It’s based on real posts, real kits, real footage, and a silent economy built around curiosity, detachment, and meat.

1. DIY Bioterrorism Kits Masquerading as “Education Tools”

Websites like The ODIN, GenScript, BioHack Academy, and multiple fly-by-night “STEM education supply” sites offer:

• CRISPR-Cas9 kits
• DNA extraction tools
• Centrifuges
• Plasmid synthesis starter packs
• Lyophilized bacteria
• No ID verification.

These are marketed with:

“For hobbyist use only.”
“Do not use on animals.”
“Not approved by the FDA.”

That language isn’t a deterrent. It’s a disclaimer for liability — not ethics.
And every month, thousands of kits ship to PO boxes, basements, dorms, and barns.

We’ve documented:

• 22 unique “home CRISPR channels” on YouTube
• 7 Discord servers for unsupervised gene tinkering
• 3 marketplace sellers offering “viral payload training kits” with glowing bacteria as proof-of-function

The infrastructure for rogue bioengineering is already built.
You don’t need the black market.
You just need a debit card and the ability to lie to a form.

2. The Freezer Economy

In at least three Telegram groups reviewed by Prime Rogue Inc., users have posted photos of:

• “fluid libraries” stored in meat freezers
• Unlabeled vials, most in Fisher cryoboxes
• “Swaps” advertised as “M from T cell lesion, urban core”, “HMPV/Norovirus from warehouse job outbreak,” and “combo: herpes + wild pig rot”

These are not hoaxes. Some are probably just dumb.
But a few are real.
And all of them are proof of intent — not to build a weapon, but to play with illness like it’s code.

3. Biofluids Marketplace (Yes, It Exists)

There are now low-volume, peer-to-peer “sourcing exchanges” where biofluids are:

• Bartered
• Sold
• Traded for Bitcoin, Monero, or even Amazon gift cards

Common phrases scraped from chats:

• “Looking for infected sputum, will trade pus or blood (A+ clean, no drugs)”
• “HepC-confirmed ejaculate available in 1mL drops. For immune experiments.”
• “How long does mumps live on a swab in transit? Anyone tested this with pigs?”

We found one user boasting:

“I’ve put 40 fluids in 17 pigs over 3 months. Nothing killed them. What’s next?”

What’s next is probably aerosolization, passaging, or cross-contamination of human vectors via the food chain.

And no agency is watching this in real time.

4. Dead Forums, Live Threats

A pattern we’ve observed:

• Forums go quiet.
• Admins disappear.
• Subreddits get archived.
• Message history is deleted.

But the people don’t vanish. They move to:

• Unindexed forums
• Telegram
• Peer-to-peer mesh networks
• Offline meetups in fringe biopunk groups

They’re building skills. Not noise.

The quieter it gets, the more likely they’ve stopped fantasizing and started doing.

5. Livestock + Biotinkering Crossover Is Now Real

In two separate groups — one for DIY gene editing and one for livestock husbandry — we found crossover users.

One user was actively:

• Raising pigs in rural Missouri
• Modding E. coli plasmids in his garage
• Asking about “localized pulmonary infections in animals exposed to mucosal fluids over time”

When asked if he had a virology background, he replied:

“No. But pigs can host a lot, right?”

That’s the future of zoonotic risk:
Not engineered.
Accrued. By idiots. With access.

TL;DR:

The OSINT is there.

• The kits are sold.
• The fluids are moving.
• The pigs are getting jabbed.
• And the forums are going dark.

We are not in the prelude.
We are in the opening sequence, and the actors don’t know their roles yet.

But they’re playing them anyway.
And the disease doesn’t care.

VII. Policy Recommendations

There Is No Protocol for Dirtbags

The problem with writing policy for this kind of threat is that it doesn’t want to be solved.
Not because it’s unsolvable — but because it doesn’t look expensive, sophisticated, or dignified enough to warrant intervention.

We can spend billions modeling anthrax in subway systems.
We can fund panels on dual-use AI models for synthetic biology.
But we don’t have a single working group anywhere focused on:

• “People injecting pus into pigs”
• “Biohackers with livestock and no long-term plans”
• “Fluid hoarding behavior in unsupervised agricultural contexts”

Because it sounds insane.
And that makes it invisible to bureaucracies built on grant language, sanitized threat matrices, and diplomatic nuance.

But it’s not invisible to us.

So here are seven recommendations for a world where domestic biosecurity failure is no longer a hypothetical — it’s just unevenly reported.

1. Build a Federal “Domestic Pathogen Behavior” Task Force

• Modeled after counter-violent extremism or anti-radicalization units
• Focus: low-tech biothreat actors, domestic passaging behaviors, livestock experiments, cross-domain digital chatter
• Staffed with OSINT analysts, veterinary public health, ex-agriculture inspectors, ex-fed LEOs
• Unsexy, underfunded, unpopular — but exactly what’s needed

This team should not be built inside the CDC.
It should be semi-autonomous, modeled more on TAT (Terrorism Assessment Teams) or cyber threat fusion centers.

2. Legislate “Unsupervised Pathogen Modification” as a Trackable Offense

We already have analogs in:

• Firearms laws (illegal modification)
• Radiological material laws
• Controlled substance precursor tracking

You don’t need to criminalize “biohacking.”
But you can:

• Register anyone who keeps livestock and orders gene-editing or viral passage materials
• Require declarations for on-farm injection of non-veterinary fluids
• Enable searchable databases of “unsanctioned pathogenesis risk events” in agricultural environments

Right now, none of this exists.

3. Create a National Biofluid Registry Pilot

Test this in two provinces or states.

Focus:

• Human-derived biofluids stored in non-laboratory settings
• Refrigerated “collection” behavior (especially with informal livestock access)
• Anonymous tip lines for reporting backyard “fluid libraries”

Treat it like a controlled substance pilot — quietly, and with discretion.

If someone has pus, semen, sputum, blood, and swabs in a mini freezer next to a feed barrel, we need to know.

4. Train Agricultural Inspectors to Spot Biological Red Flags

The front line isn’t the lab.
It’s the rural vet, the meat inspector, the low-paid processor QA tech who notices something’s wrong but isn’t trained to recognize it.

Create a bioincident reporting channel inside agriculture departments:

• Fast, anonymized, triaged by professionals
• No requirement to “prove” sabotage
• Just describe what you saw, when, where, and whether it involved fluids, pigs, timing, or pattern

5. Establish OSINT Surveillance on DIY Virology Communities

We don’t need dragnet surveillance.
We need dedicated OSINT cells monitoring:

• DIY biology forums
• Backyard livestock pages
• Cross-posting users in biohacker + agriculture spaces
• Private Discords where pathogen experimentation is normalized

Use language models and forensic linguistics to flag:

• “Passage,” “inject,” “slurry,” “fluid run,” “mix in pig,” “before kill,” “mutate fast,” “quiet strain”

Track quietly.
Intervene only when it escalates.

6. Build a Federal Biopathogen Anomaly Intake Form (One-Page, No Bureaucracy)

One page.
Digital and paper.

Used by:

• Vets
• Butchers
• Inspectors
• Farmers
• Front-line ER techs
• Anyone who sees weird animal illness or behavior linked to humans or biofluid transfer

Pattern recognition is only possible if there’s a place to submit patterns.
Right now, there isn’t.

7. Start Talking About It Like It’s Real

Stop laughing.
Stop calling it fringe.
Stop waiting for an academic paper with a p-value and three co-authors from Cambridge.

If someone’s been injecting pigs with mixed pathogens over a 90-day cycle while collecting their own mucus in jars, we do not need peer review.
We need boots. On. Ground.

TL;DR:

We do not need more funding for genomic surveillance of elite labs.
We need a $4 syringe plan for a $4 syringe world.

Because there is no protocol for dirtbags.
And that’s exactly why they’re going to win.

VIII. Final Note

We Will Miss the Next One Too

The next pandemic won’t be cinematic.
It won’t begin with a bat, or a vial, or a wet market.
It’ll begin with a pig and a man who doesn’t care anymore.

He’ll have no funding. No manifesto.
Just a freezer, a needle, and a question he never bothers to articulate.

He won’t be trying to kill anyone.
He’ll be trying to feel anything.
And by the time he does?

It’ll already be in the meat.

There will be meetings.
There will be task forces, panels, and circular conversations.
There will be people saying, “No one could have seen this coming.”

But they’ll be wrong.
We did see it coming.
We just didn’t want to look directly at what kind of person would do something like this — or how many of them are already out there.

The biology is ready.
The logistics are ready.
The indifference is already operational.

And the system?
Still assuming that evil requires infrastructure.
Still assuming intent is necessary for impact.
Still assuming that anyone will notice in time.

So this is your final warning:

It will not start in a lab.
It will not start in a cave.
It will not start in a war room.

It will start in a place so stupid, so sad, so small that no one will believe it —
until it’s everywhere.

And by then?

We will miss the next one too.